taiwan ... sigh

It seems like forever since we've said anything on this blog so I guess its about time for an update...

Taiwan....sigh....its been a trip, thats for sure. But one I think we both want to be over. I've had some amazing times here and thank god I met Denise here too but overwhelmingly I feel like our lives are waiting in the wings while I get this damned MBA. I hate this degree by the way. It seems to stretch out for years though I've only been doing it for one. I feel guilty in some ways that its because of me that we are still here when neither of us want to be.

Moreover, I'm tired of Taiwan. I'm tired of a culture with no social graces or nicety (and no, guanxi and mian are not social graces - opening doors, saying good morning, waiting in line and being courteous are. On this island it seems people try the damnedest to step all over each other and stab each other in the back, like too many flies all hell bent on getting one small piece of the shit pie. I'm tired of people who cannot drive (and I'm perpetually terrified that god forbid I, or worse, Denise, will succumb to some scumbag who doesn't care to look before opening his door or excruciatingly slowly pulling out into traffic in front of us). I'm tired of wet crap in a bowl, chicken heart/feet/ass, congealed blood and god awful bitter vegetables that pass for food out here.  I'm tired of being surrounded by ex-pats who only come here to run away from their lives. I came here to chase my dreams not escape my nightmares. I'm tired of ex-pats who do precisely what I am doing now and complain and complain and complain. I miss my Mom, I miss my Dad, I miss South Africa, I miss my Sister and my nephew I've never seen. I miss the life we should be starting in Canada.

Perseverance breeds success but we're tired. Very tired. There's never any time for just us. Denise works 3 jobs, I tutor 3 groups, teach at a high school and go to uni. We hardly see each other during the week save for an hour or two before bed. The weekends fly by, most of the time I have to study and in any event we're so damn tired its a an accomplishment merely to leave the apartment. Denise reminded me the other day that one day we'll look back on all this and laugh and think it wasn't that difficult anyway. Right now in the midst of it all its tough to believe but I know she's right.


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